Reflecting.....

Next Tuesday will be our seven month anniversary of moving to Columbia! Some days, though, I lay on the couch, looking out at Sesqui and wonder if I really do live here or if I'm just on some long vacation. And, on other days, I lay in the same place and imagine that I've never lived anywhere else and that this has been my view forever. Isn't it strange that sometimes "home" takes on new meanings with our lives?

A friend posted a comment the other day on my myspace and said that I looked "happy" (being in Columbia and with my life here). The funny thing is that when I'm laying on my couch, no matter which thought I'm having I find that yes, I am happy and that I smile at the view. So, yes, she was right, I'm happy....we're happy. That doesn't mean there haven't been struggles and irritations....like trying to find a new gas station and, still, a new church and a new hairdresser! I wonder sometimes what the "best" school is for the boys and if we live in the "right" area for them and us. But, overall, moving to Columbia has been one of the best things to ever happen to me and this family.

I feel like I've grown a million years, yet I feel perfectly at ease with my age. Back in our old hometown I always felt too old or too young. Now, I feel like a thirtysomething. But, I feel like a thirtysomething with some experience.....dealing with a teenager and an eight year old, making new friends, stepping out of my norm/my comfort zones and learning to be who I am ----not who I thought I should be or who everyone else wanted me to be----me. I worry a whole lot less about what others think of me. I've found a freedom to explore, try new things and re-invent myself for the better. Funny, I see the same things in Ron and the boys, too.

Moving here has opened my eyes that people are different --- even less than 100 miles away from each other. I see a lot more professional working men and women and more educational (I didn't say educated, but rather educational) professionals. But, I also see stronger lines drawn between socio-economic classes. Even the world of education is different here. Its a whole new level of expectation and choice. The people are most-times friendlier in Columbia, but definitely more hurried. It seems that we are always running here and there. I wasn't prepared for the political atmosphere --- everyone, I mean everyone has a political opinion. Some keep it to themselves more. And, football is king....college football that is. I can't think of a year that we didn't go to a high school game at least once during the season for the social event that it was; until this year. I'm sure there are high school football fanatic pockets, but we haven't seen them. We found it.....well, interesting.

What does all this mean? Simply, as I tell Ron and my friends frequently, if I'd know how great this would be, I would have moved years ago! I love my hometown, it holds a special place in my heart and always will, but Columbia has in seven months become my home. I feel at ease in this city, like I belong here; in this place, at this time. Back before we moved I always felt that I was "running to stand still" (as the U2 song says), running to or from something without ever moving at all. Now, I don't run, I walk from moment to moment. I'm being me. I'm loving life. And, I'm living life.....every minute of every single day.

And, not one of those days goes by that I don't say thank you to God for giving our family this opportunity. We know that we may not be in Columbia forever. His plans may move us again in the future (hopefully the far, way far off future!) or we may end our days here in the capital city. But, I'm so thankful of this time that I, we, have right now to live the best possible life in the best possible place for us.